A Sadness in My Soul...

As I have been updating you on my year, there has been one thing that I could not bring myself to share yet. But I think I am ready. Many times before, I have mentioned my BEST friend in the entire world, Amanda. She was with me from day 1 of my teaching career, the first teacher friend I ever had. We were fast friends and had a bond like no other. We thought alike, enjoyed the same things, loved being creative together, always thought ahead, massive over achievers. So it was no surprise that we became best friends at school and in our personal lives. I could never imagine teaching without her by my side. At school we were a pair, rarely seen or talked about without the other close behind. I have never had a true best friend like I have in my Byrnesy.

One day, one sad day, Byrnesy was hanging around in my room a little longer than usual. We were constantly staying late together so it wasn't that strange, but she seemed a bit off and kept shuffling her papers. I could tell something was going on. She said she needed to talk to me. Instantly, I thought the worst and I knew what was coming. I tried to shove my panic back down my throat, but I could barely contain myself. I told her that if she said what I thought she was going to say, that I would punch her. (thinking back that seems a bit harsh - hahaha) We walked outside together and sat at a picnic table behind the school. The same table that we had sat at many times before, staring at the tree we once attempted to climb after hours just for fun (while I was wearing heels). And then she told me.

She. was. moving. away. Moving. Leaving. Leaving me. Leaving her life. Leaving me. Leaving our school. Leaving me. Leaving our world that we had built together. But mostly, leaving me. And she was leaving in less than a month. I felt like my heart had been ripped out. It was a pain I hadn't felt, ever. She was my rock and my comfort. She was the only person who got my silly quirks and weirdness and matched them with her own set of oddities. Over the next few weeks, the last few weeks of school, I was an emotional wreck. Every special moment and end-of-the-year tradition that we did together was overshadowed by the feeling of sadness that *this* would be the last time.

Now it may seem like I was overreacting, or a bit over emotional, but truly, we did mostly everything together throughout the day. I relied on her friendship and support. It's like we were married.

Finally, it was her last day here. We shared one more tradition together, breakfast at Bob Evans (where we would typically go together during the summer after pulling all-nighters planning for the next school year). We hugged and cried in the parking lot and said goodbye. Ugh. It was awful.

Now she is gone. And we will always have each other. I keep telling myself that. I don't think it will really, really, really hit me that we won't be together next year until the year begins and I feel the loss all over again. But she is happy, she is with her family, and she is where she feels she needs to be. AND she got a job teaching kindergarten, which is where she belongs because she is amazing at it.

To sum it all up: this school year was chock full of ups and downs. The highest of highs and the lowest of lows. It was a year that I will never forget, that is for sure. AND JUST WAIT! Tomorrow I will share with you one other massive thing that happened this year. Whew - it's a doozy.

Thanks for reading my sob story :( I am so anxious about this coming school year without my partner in crime. Here's hoping that I find a new groove and routine all on my own.

Don't forget to check out my last two posts for some fun giveaways!

Big hugs! XO Khrys