7.16.2014

A Sadness in My Soul...

As I have been updating you on my year, there has been one thing that I could not bring myself to share yet. But I think I am ready. Many times before, I have mentioned my BEST friend in the entire world, Amanda. She was with me from day 1 of my teaching career, the first teacher friend I ever had. We were fast friends and had a bond like no other. We thought alike, enjoyed the same things, loved being creative together, always thought ahead, massive over achievers. So it was no surprise that we became best friends at school and in our personal lives. I could never imagine teaching without her by my side. At school we were a pair, rarely seen or talked about without the other close behind. I have never had a true best friend like I have in my Byrnesy.

One day, one sad day, Byrnesy was hanging around in my room a little longer than usual. We were constantly staying late together so it wasn't that strange, but she seemed a bit off and kept shuffling her papers. I could tell something was going on. She said she needed to talk to me. Instantly, I thought the worst and I knew what was coming. I tried to shove my panic back down my throat, but I could barely contain myself. I told her that if she said what I thought she was going to say, that I would punch her. (thinking back that seems a bit harsh - hahaha) We walked outside together and sat at a picnic table behind the school. The same table that we had sat at many times before, staring at the tree we once attempted to climb after hours just for fun (while I was wearing heels). And then she told me.

She. was. moving. away. Moving. Leaving. Leaving me. Leaving her life. Leaving me. Leaving our school. Leaving me. Leaving our world that we had built together. But mostly, leaving me. And she was leaving in less than a month. I felt like my heart had been ripped out. It was a pain I hadn't felt, ever. She was my rock and my comfort. She was the only person who got my silly quirks and weirdness and matched them with her own set of oddities. Over the next few weeks, the last few weeks of school, I was an emotional wreck. Every special moment and end-of-the-year tradition that we did together was overshadowed by the feeling of sadness that *this* would be the last time.

Now it may seem like I was overreacting, or a bit over emotional, but truly, we did mostly everything together throughout the day. I relied on her friendship and support. It's like we were married.

Finally, it was her last day here. We shared one more tradition together, breakfast at Bob Evans (where we would typically go together during the summer after pulling all-nighters planning for the next school year). We hugged and cried in the parking lot and said goodbye. Ugh. It was awful.

Now she is gone. And we will always have each other. I keep telling myself that. I don't think it will really, really, really hit me that we won't be together next year until the year begins and I feel the loss all over again. But she is happy, she is with her family, and she is where she feels she needs to be. AND she got a job teaching kindergarten, which is where she belongs because she is amazing at it.

To sum it all up: this school year was chock full of ups and downs. The highest of highs and the lowest of lows. It was a year that I will never forget, that is for sure. AND JUST WAIT! Tomorrow I will share with you one other massive thing that happened this year. Whew - it's a doozy.

Thanks for reading my sob story :( I am so anxious about this coming school year without my partner in crime. Here's hoping that I find a new groove and routine all on my own.

Don't forget to check out my last two posts for some fun giveaways!

Big hugs! XO Khrys

10 comments:

  1. I understand exactly how you feel -- hang in there!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    1. Thank you so much for your support Kristin, I truly appreciate it!

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  2. Good luck next year Khrys! It can be so hard when your best friend leaves. I miss mine all the time. We are all thinking about you and rooting for you! :)

    ~Jessica
    Fun in PreK-1 & Kinder

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    1. Thank you Jessica, you are so sweet!! At least we can feel each other's pain :( Love ya dearly!!

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  3. I am so sorry! I am a military spouse and I am always on the other end leaving my friends and it is so hard. I hope your year is amazing even if you don't have your greatest friend.

    Amanda Bryant
    A Traveled Teacher

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    1. Amanda, thank you for your comment. I can't even imagine how difficult that must be for you. I appreciate your kind words, they mean a lot to me. I hope your year is a fantastic one too :)

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  4. So sorry to hear. It isn't often that u meet a soulmate so I completely understand. Trying to think of an upside; well maybe her new home will be a great place to visit!! Thinking of u.

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    1. Thank you for thinking of me Amy, you are wonderful. I love that you called it a "soulmate" because that is honestly how it feels when you have a best friend. I am trying to keep a positive outlook and you are totally right. At least now I have an excuse to visit somewhere where it snows :) Hugs to you from me!!

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  5. I am so sorry to hear this. I totally understand the depth of relationships that can form between teachers who get each other and work so well together. They help make your job not seem like work at all. I am moving schools after 15 years and it is heartbreaking to think I will not be working with my BFF anymore but I have made her pledge to constant texting and 1 a week in person visits.

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    1. I completely agree! Somehow working late with your bestie makes everything seem so much easier. WOW - that must be such a difficult thing to do. I can relate to that feeling. I can't imagine having to leave somewhere after working so long. You have a solid plan though so that 's good :) And I am confident that you will be amazing at your new school!! Good luck girl! Thanks for your love and support!

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